EPISODE 106: The Private Sitting: Ann Théato interviews Richard Cuthbert

Dive deep into understanding mediumship, with my latest podcast episode featuring the esteemed Richard Cuthbert, an internationally recognised psychic, medium and ordained Minister of the Spiritualists' National Union (SNU).

Richard discovered his mediumistic abilities in his teens and began publicly sharing his gifts in 1999, becoming a beloved figure known for his warm, sincere approach and remarkable accuracy in his readings and demonstrations. With extensive training from the prestigious Arthur Findlay College and multiple diplomas from the SNU, Richard is the first individual worldwide to be awarded a Diploma in Private Sittings, showcasing his expertise in this deeply personal and transformative practice.

In this episode, we explore Richard's journey from his early awareness of his psychic abilities to his impactful work today serving as a tutor, educator, and pastoral guide. Join us to learn from Richard's profound experiences in mediumship, his dedication to developing others in this spiritual path, and his unique insights into the power of private sittings. 

 This Week’s Episode

“A knowingness that life is eternal, can be very empowering for some people.” – Richard Cuthbert

 

 

Episode 106 Resources

Here are some resources which you may find helpful.

Richard Cuthbert Website https://richardcuthbert.co.uk

Richard Cuthbert Facebook https://www.facebook.com/RichardCuthbertMedium

Richard Cuthbert Email: [email protected]

Spiritualists’ National Union: https://www.snu.org.uk

Arthur Findlay College: https://www.arthurfindlaycollege.org

SNU Education & Training: https://www.snu.org.uk/Pages/Category/snu-courses

Psychic Matters – YouTube

Our Podcast Facebook Page

Join us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/psychicmatters

 

About Psychic Matters Podcasts

Ann Théato, CSNUt, Psychic, Medium and Spiritual Tutor, investigates psychic development, mediumship techniques, and paranormal science, so that you can come to understand your own innate psychic ability and expand your knowledge, whilst learning to develop a curious mind.

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EPISODE106

You’ll Learn:

• Understanding the purpose of a private sitting with a medium.

• How a medium can help connect you with loved ones and guides.

• The importance of being open and receptive during a private sitting.

• How a private sitting can provide insight and guidance.

• The emotional and spiritual benefits of a private sitting.

• How to prepare for a private sitting with a medium.

• Why private sittings can be more personal and impactful than group sessions.

• The role of a medium in providing spiritual counselling and support.

    

TRANSCRIPT

VO: Psychic Matters with Ann Théato

The top ranked spirituality podcast.

 

Richard: So, during a private sitting, this is where a person normally, a single person, will sit one to one with a medium, that is, somebody who has the ability to connect with the spirit world. And it will be for a set period of time, it will be a one-to-one appointment, where the medium will make contact with the spirit world, or endeavour to do so, and to give that person what we call a private sitting or private reading, where they will provide evidence of a connection with the spirit world and hopefully give that person receiving the sitting, some level of evidence to demonstrate to them that their loved one is still very much in existence.

 

And that, that when they left this physical world, that wasn't the end, that they are still with us and that they are still able to communicate and provide evidence of life eternal.

 

I do believe that the introduction of a private sitting is very important in terms of giving the client or the recipient an understanding of what to expect. Because even people who've got some understanding of what mediumship is won't always have the correct understanding of what to expect during a private sitting.

 

So, it is the job of the medium to, to give a thorough explanation and to, to put them at, put their mind at rest in many cases.

 

And, and you as the medium, the, the facilitator of that connection. And it, and that to me is, is one of the greatest privileges and joys in life and as a medium is to be the, the facilitator of that communion. It's like holding the telephone line between two worlds, if you want to put it that way symbolically, and it's, you know, when it works well, it's, it's an absolute joy. And, you know, when you see that relief on somebody's face, that their, their loved one is still here, they're still in existence, and that the information that you provide as a medium is able to provide proof of that, that is, is wonderful. 

 

Ann: Before we get into this episode, I'd like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you to understand the psychic mind, mediumship communication, paranormal science, and how it all works. All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see all of your comments, and I'm just getting started. I can't wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you for subscribing. It means the world to me.

 

Hello everyone, my name is Ann Theato and welcome to episode 106 of the Psychic Matters podcast. I am so excited to be back. I have really missed making these podcast episodes for you all and I really appreciate your patience whilst waiting for me to return. For those of you who don't know why I've had an absence, just to let you know my mother passed away in March after a long illness with dementia and paranoid delusions and she lived in Ireland all alone at the age of 90 and I lived in the UK. so, it was incredibly difficult trying to manage that situation over the past two years from such a distance. so, all I can say is thank you to everybody who stood by me while I tried to get through those difficult months and help my mother as much as I could. She had a very peaceful end of life in the end and I sat with her for four beautiful days in a side ward in a hospital in County Limerick in Ireland.  I  held her hand and slept beside her listening to her breathing which I found very peaceful and I know that she will have been very pleased that I was able to spend that time with her. She had a wonderful funeral we all had a good time which sounds a strange thing to say doesn't it when somebody dies but one has to celebrate a long life  well lived and we did celebrate her very much, which was beautiful. I carried her coffin which is something I did for the very first time and I found that a real honour and I lowered her coffin into the grave and I found something about that so cathartic to actually help to lay her at rest.  There was something about physically being there during her last few days of life and then physically carrying her coffin, lowering her into the ground saying goodbye, knowing exactly the colour of the green jumper and sparkling necklace she was buried in, it was it was a beautiful completion of something and it felt very good and I really felt like I honoured her wishes and had done everything I possibly could for her.  

 

Anyways I am now back and I had to take some time out obviously after all of that to come to terms with what just happened and I was absolutely shattered having gone backwards and forwards from the UK to Ireland so often at the drop of a hat and it was incredibly costly as well so not only was I not able to run my mediumship business, but I was not able to make any podcast episodes either. 

 

Anyway, here I am I have returned I'm back in the finest fettle and I'm super excited to bring the podcast back to your beautiful listening ears. I have an array of incredible guests that I've already interviewed and I just have to edit and produce those episodes between now and Christmas so I think you're going to be blown away by the interviews that I've got lined up.

 

Now one thing I simply must say, I need to thank my incredible Patrons for standing by me all this time, helping to support my podcast – which still had a lot of costs and business overheads even though I wasn’t able to put out episodes every two weeks. You literally kept me going, all of this time and I am so grateful to you all – each and every one of you for constantly supporting my work and the work of the other mediums I bring to your attention in every episode.  So, thank you to the following wonderful people: Sonya, Jill, Jutta, Kazemaru, Kay, Julie, Jilly, Jonny, Pardis, Kim, Sarah, Sushma, and Stacy.  Without you, the podcast may well have faded away while I was grieving.  For those listening, please take a moment to say a silent prayer for these wonderful people and send them healing if you can and many blessings – they truly deserve it as they have kept this podcast alive for your benefit.

 

If you would like to become a Patron yourself – I would LOVE that!  we’d love to have you as part of our spiritually supportive community and we are all doing our best to do good in the world. So do join us - visit patreon.com/psychicmatters and sign up there to help support the podcast reach more people.

 

This week, I had the pleasure of speaking with Richard Cuthbert about what happens during a private sitting. He was wonderful to talk to, and I’m sure you’ll learn a lot from our conversation. I really hope you enjoy this episode.  It’s great to be back!

 

Ann: Today in the studio, I have the privilege of hosting a renowned Minister, Psychic and Medium whose life's purpose is intertwined with the sacred journey of spiritual development. My guest is minister Richard Cuthbert, who discovered his extraordinary abilities at a young age and has since become a much-respected figure in the realm of psychic and mediumistic practice. He has dedicated his life to assisting others, and he is here on the podcast to help you, the listener, understand what happens during an evidential private sitting, and how, as mediums, we should best conduct them. Richard Cuthbert, welcome to Psychic Matters.

 

Richard: Hello, Ann, great to be here with you.

 

Ann: Oh, bless you for making time in your day. It's so appreciated, Richard. So, let's, let's begin, Richard. Your journey into mediumship, I know, began at a young age, and of course, over the years, you've become a very highly respected medium. Can you maybe share with our listeners how your early awareness of those abilities began?

 

Richard: Of course. I can't say that there was a defining moment that I had from, from a particular age that made me aware that, oh, I'm a medium and this is what this is all about. but when I look back reflectively on, on my younger years, I now know that there were a number of experiences that I had from a young age, which I now recognise as, as mediumistic encounters or, or abilities, which at the time I didn't obviously realise that that's what they were. From my early teens, I was always very interested in anything to do with, the afterlife, anything to do with psychic phenomena, anything of the, the, what we might define as the unexplained, or the supernatural.

 

It was something that I was always very drawn to but I do also remember from being about 12 or 13, been very drawn to the idea of attending a spiritualist church. And, and this was something that I didn't quite understand, but certainly something that I knew that interested and fascinated me. And once I was old enough to be able to sort of make choices about, about that type of thing, I was able to, you know, attend a local spiritualist church, for the first time I would say it was about the age of 15 and then I attended a few times on and off, um, but then it was more at around the age of 18, 19 that I began to attend regularly. And that was a big, a big starting point for my, my own spiritual journey.

 

Ann: It's a young age, isn't it, to have that interest in a spiritualist church? It's not every 12- or 13-year-old who has that in their mind. So where did that come from for you? Is that from your parents, from your family? Where did that come from, that idea?

 

Richard: Not, not necessarily from any family connections. I had a, a great aunt who I knew attended a spiritualist church, not necessarily as a spiritualist, but I knew that she attended one in the local area regularly. And I, I remember asking her questions about that and being fascinated and wanting to know what that was about. And I had some understanding very, very loosely, uh, of what a medium was and what that meant to be able to, to communicate with. spirit world. And that whole concept absolutely fascinated me. And there was just something about that that just felt so right to me.

 

And I suppose you could say it went beyond an interest. It was, you might say a fascination. Interestingly, and just as a sort of side note, the local area where I live, In the, local newspaper that would come out on a weekend, on the obituaries page where they would list, um, births, deaths, and marriages effectively, there used to be a section in there for, spiritualist churches.

 

And it would basically, what I understand now, it was to advertise the medium that would be on at the church that week. And every week when I would go to either my auntie's house or when I would be at home, I would always turn to this page in the, in the newspaper to, to read the notices for the Spiritualist churches, and of course it would announce the name of the, of the medium.

 

Now at the time, I didn't understand what that announcement was, and my belief at the time was that the names listed in there, were the names of the spirit communicators who would, who would come through during the service. and I believe that this was almost an appeal in the newspaper to say, oh, we're looking for, you know, a Richard Cuthbert here, or somebody by this name has, has communicated.

 

Um, and I always distinctly remembering that and, and there was a name that often cropped up regularly in that newspaper and it was a family name and it was a medium who I then got to know, who was actually quite influential in my development. So, it was really nice to sort of go full circle.

 

And I also remember the first time I saw my own name listed in that, um, same newspaper to say that I was taking a service at a Spiritualist church. It was, it was a strange, a strange feeling to, to be reminded of what I first thought those names were all about.

 

Ann: Yeah, that's such a sweet story as well. That's really, really lovely. And how beautiful that your name then comes into that, uh, in your own right, you start to step into that, yeah, step into the power of who you are. So, you went at 15, uh, presumably you enjoyed it and had a good time. What happened after that?

 

Richard: After that, I, um, as I said, I started to attend fairly regularly and something about that whole process just felt very natural and, and there was something very comforting for me about the, the actual structure of the service.

 

It wasn't just the mediumship. It was the whole essence of what happened within the service. but I remember that whenever the, the, the mediumistic part of the service was taking place, that the communication, um, I remember that that always felt just so right to me, and at that time I did receive a couple of messages relatively early on within my development, and I know that some of those were influential in helping me to move forward and encouraging me, if you like, on my development.

 

And it wasn't long after attending that particular church, which was a place called Saltburn, um, close to where I lived, that I became, connected with the president at the time of the church who, who ran, a private development circle within her home. And there was about five or six of us used to attend that circle every week, on a Sunday morning at 10 o'clock.

And, uh, we would sit for spirit and we did that for about six years in total. And, and I, I very much recognise that as the, the foundations of my development as a medium, the time that I spent with, with that person who was called Nora.

 

Ann: That's beautiful as well. And that you started very young, didn't you as a, well, late teens for your development. It's always seems to have accompanied you throughout your entire life, really. Did you, were you aware of spirit younger than your teens?

 

Richard: I was. I didn't, as I, you know, as I, as I mentioned earlier, I didn't really probably recognise that at the time. Um, but just, just the other day, actually, we were having a conversation in the family about a family member who's now in the spirit world. And I was talking to my parents and my sister about how we used to visit my, my auntie's house and how I would be aware. of there being somebody else in that house and, and where he was in that house and aware of him whistling and certain things. And I kind of accepted that as a very natural occurrence at the time.

 

But now when we talk about it, you know, we recognise it as mediumship and that that was spirit communication at the time. But at the time I just, just took it for what it was and just accepted it. And I can't say how old I would have been then. I would have been about maybe seven, around that age. I can't, I can't say exactly.

 

I'd have to work out the timings of everything, but around that age. And then later on, In my earlier teens, I remember being at school and, and giving forms of what I now recognise as readings to teachers and people at school where I was kind of, I suppose, experimenting with my abilities and, and working with that and, and, picking up on things and, and just, as I say, probably, experimenting somewhat to, to learn more about my abilities and, and how they work and, and what that means to interact with other people.

 

Ann: It sounds from what you're telling us that your soul was born into a very accepting and nurturing family unit. Doesn't sound like you were challenged by your parents or your friends.

 

Richard: No, I'm very, very lucky in that respect, in that I was brought up in a, um, I wouldn't say religious family. My, my parents would attend, um, a Church of England Christian Church occasionally, and my dad will go relatively regularly on a Sunday, but I can't say that they are a religious family in that sense, in that they, you know, it doesn't define who they are, if you like. and I, I, at a young age, I did attend that particular church for quite some time and was was comfortable with the concept of of religion, but I didn't see that particular religion as something that sat 100 percent right with who I was, as opposed to when I came into Spiritualism, which was something that felt very right and, and very aligned with who I am as a person.

 

But in terms of experimenting and exploring my spiritual side. My, my parents were always, were always very accepting of that, even though they perhaps didn't understand it. And, you know, I would remember saying from quite a young age, okay, I'm going to close my bedroom door. I'm going to be, and at the time I was practicing and experimenting with meditation.

 

And I would be kind of like, oh, don't, don't disturb me. You know, don't come in. I just need that quiet time. And that was always, it was always accepted. And, and that was, that was nice, you know, there was no, there was no challenge of that. And, and now my parents, you know, have always been very supportive of, of what I do.

 

And they'll come to sometimes see me work at, local churches, or if I do a demonstration, they might attend. And they always, they always take an interest in what I do in a very, very supportive and very loving way. So, I'm very, very blessed in that respect.

 

Ann: Yeah, you truly, truly are. I can't imagine in the madhouse that I grew up in with four brothers and me and my Irish mother with her strong opinions. I cannot imagine if I said I need a little bit of quiet time here. Everyone would have piled in the door and thrown my stuff around and told me not to be an idiot. So, you're very lucky.

 

Richard: I was lucky. Yeah, absolutely.

 

Ann: Yeah, but to your great benefit, I think, because it's, you've taken this. natural gift and you've really, really developed this an awful lot. You've worked your way up through the academic papers and exams of the Spiritualist's National Union, have you not?

 

Richard: That's correct. Yes, I was involved in the Spiritualist's National Union, I suppose, from first attending a Spiritualist church, but very much at a, if you like, on the fringes of that, you know, and I was a member of the church and didn't really get involved in anything much beyond that.

 

But then around, I would say probably about 15 years ago, I started to become more interested in the, The, the written courses that were offered by the, the Spiritualist's National Union and then the, the various accreditation that you'll be aware of, that you can go through various certificates and diplomas and, and that was just something that at the time, felt very right for me and, and something that I wanted to pursue and, and work on. And it's, it's something that's brought me a lot of, a lot of enjoyment, a lot of hard work. but it's just something that, that has always felt very natural and very, very satisfying to me.

 

Ann: Well, you're so much so that you're now on the Education and Exponents Committee, are you not?

 

Richard: Uh, I, I'm, well, I'm the Director of Education and Exponents, so as part of that I do sit on the um, Education and Exponents Committee, that's correct, yes. So, a lot of my role is to about um, directing the work of that committee and acting as a go between, between the National Executive Committee and the Education & Exponents Committee.  And it's, it's a part of spiritualism that's very close to my heart.

 

Ann: I can't think of a, uh, a better person to be in your position or to hold that role because Richard, you're one of the most nurturing, kind, and gentle people and very, very encouraging of students as well, I would say. Um, so I think it's just wonderful that you do hold that position.

 

What do you think is important about sitting these types of exams and studying this as a subject. Because obviously there's two schools of people. There's, there are those that move through the Spiritualist's National Union education system, and there are those that don't, it's not for them. And that's fine.

 

You can be in either camp. It doesn't matter. But what do you think you've got perhaps out of the education system by learning and studying?

 

Richard: I think for every, every individual, it's, it's very different. As you say, there are some people who, who, who just don't feel, feel drawn to that, uh, that way of working, you know, whether it's accreditation or certification isn't important to them.  And that's absolutely fine. And, you know, sometimes one of the questions that we ask people who are doing a final assessment board, is we sometimes say to them, do you believe that every medium should be accredited in the work that they do? And there is an argument for saying that absolutely, you know, as you would in any profession, it's about upholding professional standards.

 

It's about having a benchmark of the way that somebody works and the way that they represent themselves or their religion or their movement. And so in an ideal world, you could argue that the point of, yes, it would be great if everybody was certified to a particular level, but then let's also remember that there are many people who've done this for decades, you know, sometimes much longer, who may not have been any form of professional qualification or accreditation, who are the most renowned mediums, the most skilled public speakers.

 

Is it fair to say to those people, well, you need to have accreditation as well, you know, because they have actually proved that within their, uh, within their work. They've, they've, they've proved that within what they do, but I think for those people who choose, to go through the process of, of education and assessment, I know that it's not an easy route, I know that firsthand, the idea of being assessed is the most challenging and difficult process that, anybody can choose to put themselves through, and particularly something like the work that we do as mediums.

 

It's so emotive, it's so deep, what we're doing. It's almost, you could argue, beyond the capacity to be assessed. But actually, it can be assessed, and we have to be able to assess it in a tangible way. But. It can be a real challenge for people when they're so passionate about what they do, to really put themselves under that spotlight to be assessed and, and to, to be under the spotlight in that way, and you know, you talked about me being very nurturing as a person, which is very kind of you to say, but, but I believe that everybody needs to be nurtured, you know, to reach their full potential and to be encouraged to do what they need to do. And, you know, I think for those people who choose to go down the route of education and whether that's to do written courses and then to have practical training. In many cases, they can sometimes be learning new skills. It's learning aspects of of what they already know. or sometimes it can be about fine tuning what they already do and being able to offer that in a professional manner and, and to really be able to present themselves to the highest possible standard.

 

Ann: Yeah. I mean, that's great for me. It suits me very well. I've learnt an awful lot about my own practice of mediumship by going through that accreditation scheme after scheme of the scheme. yeah, I've, I've learnt so much and, if nothing else, it's given me a really good insight into what the Spiritualist's National Union stand for the important work that they've done, to get us as a recognised, religious organisation. and all the pioneers that have come before on whose shoulders we stand, et cetera. So, it's really given me a deep understanding of, my passion, which is mediumship. So, yeah, it's been great for me. but you're here to talk to us as well, about private sittings.

 

So, the listeners of this podcast, some are mediums in development, some are professional mediums, some are students, some are people who have just got a very deep interest in this topic. So, maybe we'll start at the beginning, Richard, if we may, and just explain what a private sitting is and what a medium does.

 

Richard: Okay, so during a private sitting, this is where a person normally, a single person, will sit one to one with a medium, that is, somebody who has the ability to connect with the spirit world. And it will be for a set period of time, it will be a one-to-one appointment, where being the medium will make contact with the spirit world, or endeavour to do so.

And, and to give that person what we call a private sitting. sitting or private reading, where being they will provide evidence of, a connection with the spirit world and hopefully give that person receiving the sitting, some level of evidence to demonstrate to them that their loved one is still very much in existence.

 

And that, that when they left this physical world, that wasn't the end, that they are still with us and that they are still able to communicate and provide evidence of life eternal.

 

Ann: Thank you for that. And so, if somebody comes to a medium for a private sitting, what is the process that somebody can expect to happen when they go and see a medium?

 

Richard: Okay, that's a good question. For me, because everybody will work differently, but generally speaking there should always be an introduction given to the person coming for the private sitting, so everybody who I see, the first question I will always ask them once I've introduced myself and got them to introduce themselves, is I will, I will ask, have they had a private sitting before?

 

Is this their first experience? And you will generally find that the people who've never had a private sitting before are those that are the most nervous, and this is because they perhaps hold an expectation of something that's going to happen that, is unnerving or unnatural, and very often there will be a need to reassure that, that person. I did a private sitting for somebody just last night, and I knew from the lady's body language that the minute she walked into the room, I could tell she was terrified. You know, she, she was visibly nervous and I, and I acknowledged that in a, in a kind way. And I said, look, I can tell you a little bit unsure about this.

 

And so, I took a few moments to reassure her that what was about to happen was, was something entirely natural, that it was nothing to be feared and that she would get much more from the process if she was able to relax a little bit. And within two or three minutes, once she realised that nothing unnatural or scary was about to happen, she completely relaxed into the process and thoroughly enjoyed the process.

 

But I do believe that the introduction of a private sitting is very important in terms of giving the client or the recipient an understanding of what to expect. Because even people who've got some understanding of what mediumship is, won't always have a the correct understanding of what to expect during a private sitting.  So, it is the job of the medium to, to give a thorough explanation and to, to put them at, put their mind at rest in many cases.

 

Ann: Yeah, that's really good. So, what happens after the introduction? So, you, your, your clients come in and they've sat down and you've explained.

 

Richard: Yeah, once that part of the process is over, that's when, that's when the magic works, really, or that's when the magic starts to happen, and that's where I will move my awareness, um, from not just being aware of the person sitting in front of me, but, but I will start to become aware of their, their loved ones in the spirit world, and I will, will share that, experience with them, whether that's information that I receive, In a visual sense or through auditory information or sensing, I will share that information with my, my client and that there will be a two way exchange between the two of us.

 

I will ask them if they understand the information that comes through. Is that resonating with them? Is that is this somebody that they can understand? And In most cases, it's, it's, it's a beautiful process. It's, it's in many ways, it's, it is a reunion. It is a reunion between, two people who, in most cases, love each other very much.

 

And, and you as the medium, the, the facilitator of that connection. And it, and that. to me is, is one of the greatest privileges and joys in life and as a medium is to be the, the facilitator of that, that communion. it's like holding the telephone line between two, two worlds, if you want to put it that way symbolically, and it's, you know, when it works well, it's, it's an absolute joy. And, you know, when you see that relief on somebody's face, that their, their loved one is still here, they're still in existence, and that the information that you provide as a medium is able to provide proof of that, that is, is wonderful.  You know, and it's, and for many people it can be, it's, it's true to say it can be, it can be transformative in their life.

 

Ann: Say more about the transformative in their life. How, how, can you explain that a little further?

 

Richard: Well, because everybody experiences grief through physical loss in, in a different way, and some people can, can remain, If you want to use the word, stuck within their life through that.

 

Um, and sometimes that, that feeling of being stuck can be because they are left with a sense of not knowing if their loved one is still around. And when I say still around, still existing in some, in some way, shape, or form. And it may be that those people, the people still here, in the physical sense have asked for signs from their loved ones or they've, they've, they've said, you know, if, if they knew that their loved one was going to pass, please let me know that you were safe when you arrived in the spirit world, give me a sign.

And if they haven't had that for whatever reason, that can be very, very challenging. You know, that can leave somebody really in quite a difficult place of thinking, well, is this all just a myth? You know, it's, it's, is there something beyond this life? Have I been misled? Have I misunderstood? And then if a medium who is, is trained and has the ability to connect with the spirit world in a skilled way, it’s able to come in and help that person and say, okay, well, I can offer you the evidence here that life is eternal.

 

This is where the transformation can happen because it's where this person then has not just a belief in some cases, but then a knowingness that life is eternal, that can be very, very empowering and for some people, I believe that it can really help them to move on with their own lives in a much more productive and much more fulfilling way.

 

Of knowing that, well, I know that your life continues in the spirit world, so I can feel a little bit more comfortable with moving with my life in the physical. And, and recognising that in many ways our lives run in parallel, and there will come a time when we eventually meet again. But until that time comes, let's be comfortable in knowing that each other are existing in parallel, but still together.

 

Ann: Yeah, that's really beautiful. Thank you for explaining that little further. If somebody that comes to see you, perhaps because we are dealing with people in, in different stages of grief, but say we have somebody who sits with us and they are in profound grief because of what comes up in a session. How do you provide emotional support to those people?

 

Richard: of course, in our work as mediums, the, the prime, motivation must always be to have an ethical approach to our work. And what I mean by that is about putting the, the care and the needs of your, your recipient or your client at the heart of everything that you do. And there are times I will say when it's perhaps not the right time for somebody to have a sitting.

 

It may be that somebody's grief is still very raw, and yes, we know that the process of mediumship and perhaps the private sitting can help with that grief, but it may not be the right time, in that particular moment, and people will sometimes, you might find this yourself if people call about wanting an appointment and sometimes the question, excuse me, that people will ask is, how long does it take before the spirit world can communicate?

And there are all sorts of myths that people have been told of, oh, you need to wait six months, or you need to wait, you know, three months before you can consult a medium and, and before your loved ones can communicate. In, in my experience of, you know, around 25 years of doing this, there are no hard and fast rules about how fast that, or effectively the spirit world can communicate.

 

I've known people communicate from the spirit world, very effectively and very clearly who've only been passed a number of days, as clearly as people who might've been passed 30 or 50 years. There isn't necessarily a rule on how that works. But what is important to bear in mind is the readiness for the person receiving the message.  And, and if the grief is still very, very raw, it may be too challenging for them to process that information. And, and very often as, as mediums, we have to be able to recognise this. where our role as a, as a medium ends and where the work of perhaps, grief, a grief or bereavement counsellor may need to begin.

 

And, and even as a medium, you may help somebody in a very profound way, but through your sensitivity and through your awareness of your client, you may recognise that actually I've helped this person but they need some extra help as well to process what is happening within their lives. And that's where we have to be able and skilled to be able to suggest to that person that, have you perhaps considered reaching out to somebody who can help in this way and another professional.

 

You know, and I would openly say to people who come to me, if they are struggling, look, I'm not a grief counsellor. I work with people every day of my life who are experiencing or who have experienced physical loss, and that's given me a lot of skills and empathy at being able to help those people. But I'm not a counsellor in that way. And I can't work as such. There are other people who are trained and skilled to do that. And that's where sometimes we have to be able and, and willing to be able to refer somebody on where it's appropriate.

 

Ann: Yeah, because we are dealing with people with such compacted grief, are we not? How many sittings would you say, you know, if somebody says, oh, can I come again? I want to talk to them again. You know, how do you deal with somebody who's got that request?

 

Richard: That's something we have to be absolutely very careful of because when a sitting goes well, and when it's a positive experience for somebody, which hopefully it is most times, that can be quite an addictive experience, like anything that's positive in life.

We do it once, think, I want to do that again. And there is something very sacred about mediumship and communication with the spirit world, and something that is very healing, but we also have to recognise that we cannot live our lives within the essence of focusing purely on that, you know, somebody who has let's say for argument's sake, a connection with her husband in the spirit world, who she's lost. She gets a very good communication through a medium with that husband. Of course she's going to want to experience that again, because that is going to feed something within her where there is a need for that contact that she hasn't had physically with that husband.

 

But we all understand that that wouldn't be healthy to continue that on. This person needs to recognise that as her husband's life continues in the spirit world, her life needs to continue in the physical sense as well. And that can't be continued with, with having continuous communication. That that wouldn't really be a healthy situation.  And this is why we often say to people, um, you know, you should wait a little while between, sittings or between, between readings, because otherwise it can become detrimental to living our physical life, we can become too obsessive with the spirit world, and that's, that's a really good point. That's, that's not a good, good place to be in, you know, we need to balance, like with anything in life, there has to be a balance between the, the spiritual and the physical.

 

Um, but, but we also have to be careful in our work as mediums, going back to what I said before about being ethical in what we do. There are people who would want to come for a sitting every day. And if, if your work as a medium, if you're working from a place of ego and think, you know, I'm doing a great job for this person, so much so that she wants a reading every week, that's not working from a sense of putting the needs of the recipient first. That's actually more about you seeking that gratification in another way. And it's also recognising that that wouldn't be healthy for that person either, you know, if they're seeking that type of continuous connection, um, clearly there is something else there missing in life that needs to be addressed.

 

And going back to the idea of counselling, that may be where a referral to something like counselling would be, would be more appropriate. Um, but I, I don't believe that there are any hard and fast rules about particular gaps between, um, between readings. You know, we often say six months, 12 months, um, there isn't a prescribed length of time I don't believe, but, but I believe that we often quote these timelines just to give clients some parameters of look, you shouldn't really be seeking this too often.

 

Ann: Yeah. I think that's very fair. Um, so. Sitters or clients who come to us, what is your opinion if they wanted to bring a personal object belonging to their loved one in the spirit world or a photograph? How, first of all, what do you think about that? And secondly, if, if you are using these objects when they come, how does that enhance or not a private sitting?

 

Richard: Okay, well, the first thing to explain there would be that if, to some of your listeners, might need an awareness of this, that if somebody brings a, an item of clothing or a piece of jewellery or a photograph, it would be important to recognise that if the medium works with that item, that's a faculty that we call psychometry.  And this is where the medium will hold the item. And using the vibration of the item and their sensitivity, the medium is able to obtain information from that item, which may relate to the person in the spirit world, and it may give them information. Now, if they are obtaining that information from the item, that isn't necessarily demonstrating spirit connection.

 

That could be more what we call working on a psychic level. I could hold a piece of jewellery that you give to me from a loved one in the spirit world. I could tell you all sorts about them, perhaps through using psychometry, but that's not necessarily proving that I'm in contact with that person in the spirit world.

 

So, it's important to recognise that, that there is a difference between the two in the same way that it's always important to recognise the difference between a psychic and a medium and the type of information that comes through in that way. But we do know that sometimes people do bring items along and, you know, somebody who has somebody in the spirit world.

 

And who they love and treasure so much they will often want to show you the photograph and, and I, I, I absolutely love that when, you know, when I will be giving a connection from the spirit world and then all of a sudden, the person spontaneously pulls the photograph out and says, this is who you're talking about.

 

And it's lovely because actually it's, it's, it can often confirm for me as the medium that what I'm receiving is, is correct. But but handled in the right way, I believe that that, that gift of psychometry can sometimes enhance the mediumship as well. and, and to give you an example of that, it, it's, it's a very specific skill, but sometimes if somebody is seeking a connection with a loved one in the spirit world and that that hasn't happened spontaneously or naturally, sometimes using psychometry can, for want of a better word, kickstart that connection. And, for example, it might be that somebody says, oh, here's a photo of my loved one. This is who I was hoping to hear from. Now the medium could start to look at that photograph and and obtain information through psychometry and through a psychic connection. But then something will happen in more, more cases than not where that, shift happens between the psychic connection and it moves on to a mediumistic level.

And obviously the medium has to be able to then prove that or has to be able to offer evidence of that. But that can be quite a useful technique and, and I, I don't personally have a problem with that. We wouldn't do that in a, in a spiritualist church environment, but perhaps in a, in a private sitting, if it's properly explained what is happening and how the information is being obtained, that can be a, can be a helpful process.

 

And we can sometimes use techniques like that when, when training people to be mediums and it can help somebody to learn the difference of this is the information that I'm obtaining through psychometry and on a psychic level. And now, ah, I see the difference of when the information comes through from the living intelligence of the spirit world.  The difference in the information and how it comes to life and how I'm not just reading the information, but how I am interacting with the spirit communicator and how that helps them to, to really show a living intelligence.

 

Ann: Yeah. And just, just go back a little, because you said this would not happen in a Spiritualist church service.  Could you say why that is? Because there is a specific reason for that.

 

Richard: There is, that's correct. So, in a Spiritualist church service, there are obviously many aspects to the service. There is there is usually, a philosophy brought into the service. There is an element of prayer and worship and perhaps hymns, and one part of the service will usually be designated to the mediumship, the, the spirit communication.  And so, this is about proving life, eternal, about providing evidence of life eternal to that congregation. And this will always be done with, with what I would define as pure mediumship, the medium working with the, with the audience or the congregation and the spirit world. They wouldn't be using things like photographs or items of jewellery or psychometry.

 

The reason being is because that then potentially is a psychic demonstration, which, which isn't a demonstration of mediumship, which is one of the aspects of, of Spiritualism.

 

Ann: Yeah, thanks for clarifying that because I think that's really important for everybody to understand. And, um, in the private sittings, Richard, if somebody says, is it all right if we record this? Do you record your private sittings? Do you have any take on it one way or another?

 

Richard: I'm happy for, for people to record the, the private sitting. I'm, I'm comfortable with that. Some people like to take notes. Um, I remember when I first started doing sittings, um, years ago, it would be a, it would be a cassette player.

 

And, and the, the palaver of, you know, pressing that and, and recording the sitting in that way. Nowadays, of course, people can, can record them on their phones and, I think there is a value in that. Some people are very content with saying, no, I want to just experience this in the moment and I don't necessarily want to record it.

 

Obviously, the value of it being recorded is that they're able to review that later on. And, and it may be that on second listening of the, the sitting, they hear something that they don't remember, within their own consciousness, which can be often very profound, and, and something which maybe they didn't understand at the time and that they can then look back and review.

 

And very often if people have recorded, the sittings that I've given, sometimes they will contact me afterwards and say, oh, I've I let my mother hear the, the recording and the bit of information that I couldn't verify she did. And she said that that made perfect sense. So that's when there is a, there is a real value in recording, but, but everybody has different opinions on that.

 

Some, I know that there are some mediums who aren't comfortable with the process being recorded or very often they find that to be a distraction, you know, because I think they've become a little bit more self-conscious about what they're saying and how they're saying it and I think it goes back to that, that feeling of being watched or recorded. It can, it can be an added pressure.

 

Ann: Yeah. just, before we finish on the private sittings, what would you say to any mediums that are listening who are doing private sittings or one on ones? When you sit down with a client who's a little spiky and a little difficult to work with, because people can be spiky and people can be, for different reasons. They might be frightened or scared or as you identified earlier in this interview, or they, that just might be their personality or their mood. So how do we work with someone like that? Because energetically we need a three-way conversation from spirit through spirit to spirit. So how do we do that? What do you have to say about that?

 

Richard: Absolutely. And that can be a real, a real challenge. And it's really important whenever you're doing a private sitting that there is a there is a positive and a nice rapport with, your recipient. And I always say to people when I'm, when I'm sort of training people in this area, look, if you're going to do this sort of work, with every person that you work with, you've got to feel a love for that person.

 

And what I mean by that is that, that you, well, first of all, you don't fall in love with them. Don't fall in love with every, every recipient, or, or that you, you have to love them unconditionally. But you have to feel a love in, in, in a humanitarian sense for who you are working with and a connection to them.

 

And we're, we're human beings. We know that we don't connect very easily with every person that we meet in this life. Sometimes, for no explainable reason, there can be a natural clash of personalities. We all meet people in life, and there can be just a feeling that we get with that person when we meet them.

 

I don't, I don't really connect with this person and, and as you rightly say, people can bring to the private sittings, their own emotions, and very often that one of the emotions that can be so prevalent is that of grief and, and grief can manifest itself in so many different ways. It can manifest in anger, irritability, sadness, somebody being very despondent, and all of those emotions that I've just mentioned there are very difficult ones to encounter as a medium when you want to work with somebody in a productive and positive way. And if we're not careful, we can find ourselves fixating on that emotion. And, and thinking, ooh, this person's not liking me. They're not up for this. They're not, this is going to be a difficult reading, you know, this, this person's hard work. And very often what we have to be able to do is look beyond what we see there. And I think, is there a reason why this person is demonstrating this, uh, this emotion? And, and, and there may be a very good reason.

And if we can sort of get past that and we can work beyond it, you will often find that those barriers that people put there in that sense start to erode and we start to be able to soften the energy and work with that person more, more productively. But also it, sometimes we need to be open, well we should always be open with our clients, but sometimes we need to be open with them about their attitude towards the sitting as well, because there are people who will come in to see you with a challenging personality, and they may have a perception that we are trying to pick up something from them in a psychological way and that they want to hide all of that and that we need to prove it to them.

 

And I totally get that. I accept that. I experience it a lot. My job as a medium in many ways is to be able to convince somebody of this reality of communication. But there also has to be a cooperation from the other person as well. And if you really feel that somebody isn't in that right space, it's sometimes okay and I will say this has to be done very sensitively and very skilfully, but sometimes ask that person, are you comfortable with this process? Are you, do you want this to, to happen? You know, are you, are you willing to work with me? And, and sort of open up to this process. And sometimes that has to be done.

 

And, and on the odd occasion, I have had actually had somebody say to me, I actually I don't want to be here. I'm not really don't want to be part of this process. I've come along because my friend came or my sister or whoever, and they've brought me along and I not really not really up for it. And that's where I have to take responsibility and say well, look, let's, let's not go through this process then.

 

There's no point in me trying to push something here that, that you're not wanting to be part of. That's not going to benefit you or me. It's going to make my job very difficult. Or sometimes some people just need a bit of softening just to reassure them that look, just let's relax into this process and try, don't have such a challenging approach about it, you know, work with me a little bit and, and you'll get much more from the process. But I think as advice to, to, to sort of people newer to mediumship who are going to be working in this way, I would, I would again, reiterate that it's about not becoming fixated on that emotion that you experience and not jumping to conclusions about why that is there. You know, about realising that part of your work might be to erode that emotion, to make way for something else in a much more positive light.

 

Ann: Yeah, I love that. That's really important. Thank you, Richard. So, if somebody wanted to find a medium then, how do they find one and how do they choose?  I know we've only got a couple of minutes left, so, um, just this be my last question to you. How do they find a medium and how do they choose the one to work with?

 

Richard: Good question. I often say to people that that personal recommendation can often be a really positive starting point to to finding somebody, because if you know somebody that's had a good experience with with a medium, that they experienced, you know, a good level of care and connection, then then that's probably going to stand you in good stead for having good experience as well.

 

But I would also say look at the reputation of the person as well. You know, look, have they, if you're gonna look on a, a website or it's a leaflet or something, look at how long they've been doing this. You know, have they had particular training? Do, do they have a background in this work?

 

And I think a lot of it as well comes down to individual preference about who you feel a connection to. Because we've talked a lot today about how it's important that there is a good connection between the medium and the recipient. And some of that does come down to personality and psychological connection.

 

Some of it can be a little bit deeper than that. It can be about a soul connection that we feel to somebody. And that's where sometimes, it’s important to trust your own gut feeling about, well, there's something about that person I feel drawn to. You know, and, and, and sometimes your own intuition, your own soul, will guide you towards the right medium.

So, so many times people will, will call me or email me and say, oh, I'd like to, like, see you for, for a reading. And I kind of found you by accident. You know, and I stumbled across your website when looking for something else, or I was looking for a medium but when I looked at your photograph, or when I read what you, you wrote about yourself, I just felt that it was right, you know, I felt, felt something and I think that can be a very, a very good way of, of approaching finding a medium who's going to resonate with you on a very positive level, trust in your own instinct.

 

But of course, with that, I would say, look at the other practical aspects as well, such as the experience of the person, what's their motivation for doing their work that they do, you know, and, and how does that align with your feelings and what you're seeking? Are they able to potentially offer what you're looking for?

 

Ann: Thank you, Richard. That's beautiful. I could talk to you all day about all kinds of different things. And it's been really enlightening talking to you about private sittings. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I know that you run your own courses and classes and you do one on one sittings.

 

Maybe you could tell our listeners where they can find you out there on the internet and the sort of things that you have on offer at the moment.

 

Richard: Absolutely. So, I do, I do have a website, which I keep up to date with information about my work and about private sittings and that website addresses, it's an easy one.

It's Richard Cuthbert, which is C U T H B E R T. co. uk or com both will work. So richardcuthbert.com. I also have a page on Facebook, which I keep up to date, which if you search for Richard Cuthbert Psychic Medium, that should come up on Facebook as well. So, they're, they're the two main ways of keeping up to date with who I am and what, what I do.

 

Ann: And if anybody wanted to book a private reading with you, they can go to your website and do that there.

 

Richard: Absolutely. Yeah. The information's on there.

 

Ann: Wonderful. Well, I highly recommend everybody goes straight over to your website and takes a very good look at all the beautiful things that are on offer.  Richard Cuthbert, thank you once again for your time. You are so appreciated.

 

Richard: Ann it's been a joy speaking with you and I've very much enjoyed being with you and the the enlightening and exciting questions that you've asked. It's been a real pleasure. Thank you.

 

Ann: So that brings us to the end of this week’s episode – The Private Sitting with Richard Cuthbert.   As before, you can find a complete transcript in the show notes for this episode on my website, anntheato.com along with links and URL’s that will lead you to Richard’s work and his website, 1:1 readings and courses. 

I hope you have learned a lot from this episode and if you enjoyed it, please do tell all your friends about the podcast, or consider becoming a Patron to support the work to continue to help me make these episodes for free, for people all across the world, who have no access to tuition or courses.

Have a great couple of weeks and thank you for joining me.

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